The Modern Mom’s Guide to Dads: Ten Secrets Your Husband Won’t Tell You
by Hogan Hilling and Jesse Jayne Rutherfood
Now that baby has made 3, are you confused by your husband’s behavior towards you and the baby? Then you need to read this book so you can understand what’s going on inside his head.
Author Hogan Hilling is a founder of an expecting Dad’s support group, so not only does he have the insider track – being a Dad to 3 himself – but also as someone who hears the good, the bad and the ugly from other Dads who share their experiences.
The first chapter of the book, on marriage comes first, gives you a clue as to what’s really important to fathers: that he continues being #1 in your life. While he’s greatly affected by his feelings about becoming a father and of love for his child, he doesn’t share the same hormonal and biological imperative to forget all else the way moms sometimes do. Knowing this can lead to greater understanding between new parents. Moms do well to understand that it’s not so much that their husbands are jealous of the new baby (although this does admittedly happen), it’s that he doesn’t want their relationship to be put on the back burner.
Another common issue of disagreement between new moms and dads is in the arena of household stuff and childcare. Relax, ladies: according to the author, new dads are far less critical than you think about you keeping the house as clean as before – and in fact are willing to step up, if you know how to communicate with them.
There are parts of the book I found frustrating, such as the honest admission from one dad that he found it difficult to be close to his wife after seeing her give birth, which made me think that he needs to grow up!
But on the whole, the book provides an honest look into what men are really thinking about fatherhood but are often afraid to say.
Carrie Lauth is a work at home mom of 4 from Atlanta GA, and host of http://www.naturalmomstalkradio.com/blog